For the longest time, I thought of nostalgia as a feeling that, although possible for me to experience, was remote to me by its nature. Now, I can no longer deny it. The sound of the forty-fifth year's snow cherry blossoms has the kind of hold over me that urges me to a certain kind of awakening that has been long overdue. It is, once again, time to learn a new way to embrace myself.
To the question of what I hold dear, I have the answer that is undeniable - I am selfish first and foremost. Those feelings are what I live for. I must make choices that lead to them, regardless of the consequences. I can't say I don't care about the hurt I may cause, but at this point it feels undeniable to me that unless I take the steps I need to take, I will not live to be the person that I am on the inside. To continue living as I do, and to declare myself as my self, would be inauthentic self-expression - the cardinal sin.
I take refuge in the knowledge that I am not alone. Those clicks will, to me, accompany the snow cherry blossoms forever.
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* As for the feeling that is the closest to me in nature, it is undoubtedly love.
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